Cthulhu launches late bid for Conservative leadership

8 Jul

Satire, or is it?

The Daily Belter

The Conservative leadership race took another twist this morning as it was announced by Downing Street’s press office that Cthulhu has put himself forward as a candidate.

Cthulhu, 303,780,015,334,200,103,456,102,040,001,050,112,901, missed the 30th June deadline set by the 1922 Committee, but a Conservative spokesperson said that they gave him an extension on the grounds that he is “massive and evil”.

The confirmation of cosmic entity Cthulhu’s candidacy followed much press speculation, irregular betting patterns and a tsunami which submerged the Isle of Wight early this morning, and makes him the sixth MP to contest the party’s leadership.

Though Mr Cthulu was unavailable for comment, campaign manager Neil Line told the media at a press conference that he has the “integrity, patience and maritime supremacy” required to protect the United Kingdom’s sovereignty in the wake of Brexit.

Line added: “In a time of great political uncertainty, a Great Old One such as…

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