Tory Modernisers Vow To Drag Party Into 19th Century

25 Apr

Pride's Purge

In a bid to wrest power away from more traditional, old-fashioned members of the Conservative Party, a group of younger, forward-thinking Tory MPs have seized key posts in a vote on the influential 1922 committee which represents back-bench Tory MPs and say they are hoping to bring the party forward several hundred years right into the 19th century.

The group of self-styled ‘modernisers’ have pledged to rejuvenate the party’s old-fashioned image and replace its previous ‘stone-age’ policies with newer ideas which reflect the more up-to-date Victorian era values favoured by the Prime Minister, David Cameron. 

A representative of the group explained the thinking behind the new movement:

We’re fed up of our party being run by dinosaurs. We want the Conservative Party to be a modern party – relevant to contemporary Britain – not constantly harking back to an old-fashioned stone-age era – and that’s why we’re determined to bring…

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